#( There's no shame in 'not being productive' in a hobby )

[mimiiiiiiiiisstuff]

Hi! I'm new to your account, but just binged your "I bet on losing dogs" storyline, and I had a question and concept for you? How much is the reader free to interpret? I'm a theater kid, so I like her hobbies. But is there any specific physical traits you're writing for her? I know you mentioned that we were/are chubby, which is cool, but do you imagine any certain features? Because I'm Mexican American with certain features, so I was curious if you had a certain ethnicity set for her besides being half White/Jewish from Bruce being her biological father.

I also had the same question about Tiffany, because I'm currently imagining the Stereotypical All American girl. Kinda got that Disney Channel actress vibe to her. (Physically). I also had this really messed up though of the reader having to spend YEARS trying to keep in touch her mother's culture and such, learning dishes, traditions, going to local festivals by herself, having to learn how to do makeup and hair styles/products that fit her face and hair pattern. No one bothered to help or teach her. But than, suddenly Tiffany starts to steal those "habits", uncaring if they were very personal to the reader. Than everyone in the family suddenly starts to like the Reader's culture and such. (I had this scene in my brain where the Reader walks in on Tiffany is bragging about some music or dish "she" tried out from the Reader's culture, while the family are all happy and curious about it. Even when the Reader tried to introduce it to the family, everyone declined even trying it.)

I see the Reader so "Your Best American Girl" coded by Mitski.

Anyway I just wanted to ramble, bye!

ok so, I'm trying to be as vague as possible bc reader is supposed to be whoever is reading so there's no in depth description or specific height or build (except chubby in the prologue). i feel like i've basically made reader an OC which i hate but personally when I'm reading a fic, I just ignore things if I don't like them or they don't apply to me which is what i suggest yall do!!

the reader's mother is Palestinian/ Venezualan, like my own mom but you can change it if you'd like. it's important to mention that reader does have Bruce's jaw structure and face shape and shares facial features with Damian as well. It's small things like the ears, the roman nose, even the eye shape, point is that every time reader looks in the mirror she can see shadows of Bruce and Damian on her face. it's kinda like the vibe of "like him" by tyler the creator. I'm middle eastern and hispanic so I imagine reader with darker feautures like tan skin, thick brown hair, arched brows and long lashes but it's all up to you!

reader is very confused because while her dad is white, she isn't. she did try to bond with Damian and learn Arabic with him but he shamed her for not knowing and kicked her out his room, literally. she used to be embarrassed of her heritage when she was younger (courtsey of Tiffany calling her a mutt) but as she got older she realized how interesting her culture is.

she wants to learn arabic but has no teachers and it's a pretty hard language to learn if you don't grow up speaking it .she has no sources to help her and most of the time culture and traditions are things you grow up with and are passed down to you from family. her mom used to speak to her in arabic and feed her dates and sandwiches with olive oil and sugar and make her fried plantians so those things are very special to her, they're some of the only details she remembers about her late mother. so yeah reader is very "Your best american girl coded"

You're so on point about Tiffany, she's your classic all American girl. Blonde hair, blue eyes, long tanned legs and a set of pearly whites. she's the kind of white girl to act like she cares about other races but is secretly racist. you know what girls im talking about! and that prompt you sent with the food eats so hard, I have a scene mapped out with that in the upcoming chapters. I rambled too girl!!! you really got me thinking tbh but let me stop and actually write the next chapter.

[samantha-and-nellie]

because i keep making the mistake of going into ag communities outside of tumblr, i've really been trying to reckon with the consumerism in the fandom, so here's a few reminders if you are into collecting ag items!

this is a hobby! and like all hobbies, it should be bringing you joy. if it's stressing you out, that's probably a sign that you need to step back, which is an absolutely okay thing to do

your collection is valid even if it includes replicas of items originally made by american girl

you do not have to buy items that you don't love just to reach the arbitrary goal of "completing" a collection

you should not be purchasing items that you don't like just for the sake of keeping up with american girl's newest releases

american girl has continuously been showing us that they are much more interested these days in being a luxury nostalgia brand. you do not have to engage with what the brand is currently doing or producing to be a part of the fandom or collecting community

in fact, you do not have to do a lot of research to learn that mattel is not an ethical company. i'm not going to shame anyone who does continue to purchase products from american girl, but please do not be purchasing items from this brand just from a place of consumerism. there are so many small businesses that produce items for ag dolls that you can support, and you can easily find many second-hand american girl products

you should never be spending money that you don't have on american girl

making clothes and items is valid! handmade parts of your collection are beautiful

[quinnysnursery]

4 things my girlfriend does that heals my inner child

++ and why i'm telling you !

1. she shows up without being asked too

i own and operate a small business almost entirely on my own. i am in charge of my own social media marketing, creating and crafting my products and shipping out orders. my girlfriend has a decently sized instagram account, because she is very good at the hobby she does. never have i directly asked her to share some of my posts, or promote my work and yet, she has. every time without fail-- whether i have a market, i make a silly reel, or i'm announcing a new product-- she shares it with her followers. she supports me loudly, and shows up to support me and my business in the only way she can whilst we're long distance.

2. my interests are encouraged, never shamed

i'm a they of many interests and hobbies. i'm a crafter, a trinket collector, a k-pop fan-- you name it, i've probably dabbled in it at least briefly.

during my upbringing, my interests were often put off due to my family being busy, uninterested or simply just not wanting to hear. as an autistic person, i struggled with understanding how to connect with others who didn't share similar interests, and at times felt abandoned and hurt when people would laugh or poke at the things that made me happy.

but my girlfriend? she asks what i'm crafting, asks about the popmart series i'm most in-love with, and most recently told me she listens to my ult group just to familiarize herself with their discography.

3. arguments ≠ yelling

yelling was, and still is, a constant in my life. especially during my early childhood, it's apart of the reason i'm sensitive to loud noises as an adult now. and honestly, as sad as it may sound, i never expected to find a partner who didn't yell at me. i thought that's how couples communicated.

in the years i've known this girl, i can't count the number of times she's yelled at me angrily on one hand. why? because she never has.

of course, my girlfriend and i are people at the end of the day. we disagree, we argue, we butt heads-- but we never yell. we never try to create an unsafe environment to make the other feel scared into agreeing.

4. reassurance and communication. 

plain and simple. reassurance and communication are truly the foundation for any relationship. it's taken us awhile to learn what works and trust there has been countless of times where something worked for one of us, but not the other-- or a technique that worked for awhile only to stop as we grew and changed.

but what held our bond together was the reassurance that we were both safe with each other. the communication that, despite the rocky road of figuring out how to be the first in both our families to have a healthy relationship, we are on that together.

now, why am i telling you all this?

because i want people to know. i want people to know that love can be safe, love should be safe. love should never be fear, or have to be earned. no matter who you are, what you look like, or how you were raised. my upbringing instilled a lot of harmful ideals into my nervous system, made me believe things about myself that were never true and worst of all-- made me scared to let myself be loved.

i want each and every one of you to know that you'll find your person. you'll find the person who makes you laugh like your a child again, the person who helps you feel safe when everything in you wants to run back to bad habits, the person who helps you remember that love should never be conditional.

and until then, love yourself <3

[trenchcoatmccalcium]

Claudia was the best of his vampiric self

In season one, we see her be a fierce and ravenous killer, hundreds of victims, collecting souvenirs, laughing at death in the face, perverting it, obscuring it, reclaiming it as her hobby. A true beast of the night. Death is collateral, death is the by-product of her descent into madness, death is her only friend. And she's the best at bringing death, kills with the appreciation of the vigour of life, sweet kill juice. To look at it with such glee. A monstrous glee, but that of an adolescent with just enough superego to know she is fundamentally wrong but with that childish id still intact, so strong and playful, teasingly, actively alive. She is the perfect monster. The hunger of a child, teenage metabolism, adult retrospection. She is a killer, a beast, a savage, she is ruthless, she is untamable, she is hungry. She is the fiercest vampire, they have no idea of her strength. She is a vampire, and like Lestat, she pulls it off like a fabulous catastrophe. She has his panache, his style, wears his rings, plays chess twisting his cruelty, plays the piano as his daughter, she understands him best, understands his yearning for love from Louis, understands his pettiness soulfully, in a way she is smart enough to weaponize, winning against him in this game only the two of them know how to play. The evil of his evil. She is the best of his vampiric self.

And then, season 2 comes along. Much like Lestat, she escapes her abusive home for Paris, saving her parent and bringing them along (the parent who will abandon her) and in Paris she finds the love of her devastatingly short life, Madeline. The comparison of Claudia and Lestat's faces covered in blood looking up at their at the time mortal companions holds true, but it is in the difference we find truth. Yes, she is her father's daughter, revealing the worst parts of herself before asking for love like a plea, but the differences are what elevates it. Back then Lestat was a threat to Louis who stabbed him thrice in the church, but here Claudia is Madeline's saviour. Claudia reveals her nature not to trap Madeline with her in the savage garden, but to rescue her from it. Lestat says come to me, Claudia says come with me. It is a desperate attempt, much like Lestat's, but Claudia asks nothing of Madeline. She is not turned that night. There is time, there is patience, there is tender tension, and Madeline gets to choose. Claudia, who never gets chosen, watches Madeline choose this wretched existence because it means she will get to be with Claudia forever. She chooses Claudia over and over again, in front of Louis, in front of Armand, in front of the coven, in the face of death. She loves Claudia, more than anything. Louis says Madeline's turning was beautiful. The choice was beautiful, and love was able to bloom from the hands of the corpse. Love, delicate and steadily, strongly, faithfully, determinedly alive. Determined to live, to bloom, to thrive. Her situation was a mirror to Loustat, but it became a healthy, beautiful thing. Vampirism was not a curse for the two of them to suffer together with, here it truly was a gift like Lestat intended, a dark gift but Madeline saw Claudia in a light she never could've survived in. It was a gift, a blessing. She made it a gift. She was amazing at being a vampire. She is the best of his vampiric self. She is a better vampire than he could ever be, in every aspect of a monster, of a companion. She is the best of his vampiric self.

Could u imagine the shame he felt? Armand felt? Seeing Madeline be so brave, choosing Claudia even when it meant death? Do u think Lestat was proud of Claudia, for being a better vampire than he could ever be, for being a vampire the right way? Or was he jealous, the jealousy a mother has for her daughter when she sees all she could've been? Could u imagine the guilt? The exquisite, dreadful, sludgy, suffocating guilt? Could u imagine that last look, when he has just seen her for all she has become, seeing her strong, defending her strength, her fight against the trial, overcoming the mind control and telling her truth, forcing the audience to be uncomfortable, god, her last words were a fucking threat, how proud he must have been, and he is forced to see her last look at him as she dies as all the things he cursed her to be? A child, built like a bird, a poor fragile thing. The vampires in europe are cruel, says the european vampire. They will break you, and they did. He must have hoped she'd escape it like he did, he must have hoped because he knew she was strong enough, and when she needed him most, he did nothing. The woman of immeasurable strength reduced to a little girl looking to her father for help. The great ravenous monster found crying for its mom, a shameful mother who did not have the strength to save her too.

Claudia was the best of his vampiric self, and he had to watch the best of himself die, and live out the rest of eternity as what he had to become to survive. Claudia was a ghost before she died. Claudia was the best of his vampiric self.

[ardranaline]

new moon in ♒ Pick a pile

it's a current energy check In and advice for few. if you want a personal reading for the new moon dm!

everything has come to a halt .things just don’t feel right , you don’t feel alright. there’s energies of uncertainty, it’s like your sick but there’s no physical wounds. the hobbies, the job you do, don’t give you that satisfaction and it just feels so heavy to them. you feel drained there’s this feeling in your heart, a fear, something is wrong, you feel out of place and lost . even trying to achieve your dreams , goals doesn’t seem worth it now. Foods or music that used to be your favorite has no more appeal .you may even wonder if your a good person , good enough as you thought . In a sense you could have been lying and faking to your own self .you have doubts in everything you do. some of you may even feel empty and worthless .this all seems to stem from a place where you’re not validating yourself, you’ve belittled yourself, thinking others have have done more ,they’re more skilled. you don’t place any value or worth on yourself and things that you do. for some it can be due to the situations they’re placed in childhood. any achievements got any praise . and the next achievement had to be greater than the last one .constant progress or failing even once was looked down & shamed.

you guys have been thinking and wondering about your support system ,where you find comfort ,what makes you happy ,you’ve taken a step to notice what’s doing you right and what’s doing you wrong .you’ve been reflecting and understanding yourself and trying to improve what you’re doing in a personal & professional sense. you’ve been planning a lot , comparing pros and cons to some it can be academics & reflecting for which skill/ career is good for you . few of you could be traveling or doing a lot of research basically exploring to find the right path and improve yourself . this pile gives vibes of growth , you’re making the blueprint for success . facing a bit of diet issues, meals that you want to have not being available. some choosing their health & not consuming processed food or take outs .some not choosing to take advice or labels that others throw at you . along with improving you are also cutting out old habits , mindset . Some are overcoming their social media or other addiction / procrastination slump and engaging + improving your life . some of you would have been denying yourself a thing , doing that will give you a lot of relief . by denying you’re suffocating yourself

trying to make ends meet, dealing with deadlines being very overworked ,there’s a lack of care and nourishment of self .keeping yourself busy so you won’t have to deal with some things or feeling unworthy of rest , being cared , gentle love . doing others labor ,people pleasing , not taking up space because you feel you’ll be a burden. being afraid to take up space, to demand , to be content so you in the name of adjusting stay ,unsatisfied ,sad ,insecure ,unloved . due to the fear that if you take up space , ask for what you want , you’ll be viewed as asking too much and you could lose people ,opportunities or titles just because you ask or what you want. it’s advised you stop doing others work ,take rest, nourish your body and let yourself be loved and cared for by yourself before you let others care for you . even if you rest, you don’t rest properly. you keep thinking about what to do ,you haven’t slept well in days , you’re not giving yourself the break you deserve.

you have been putting in a lot of work in yourself ,you try to keep your head high , everyday you’ve been gentle and pushing yourself to heal and be productive and its visible how much you’ve improved since day one .all those small steps have given you big results , you’ve improved your self concept, self esteem a lot of healing and learning about yourself & you’re life . you have come a long way but still sometimes you stress over the smallest of things . overall you’ve been building yourself up ,a lot progress but in your head you still have doubts & confusion. you’re on the right path ,there’s just a bit more of balancing & managing the situation & routines so you don’t suffocate yourself. for some it may stem because they fell trapped by the routine and need to do and improve. some are doing all this to avoid emotions, confronting a situation and making yourself very busy.. you are overworking yourself and also avoiding the stress of the main problem and taking it out on small things because you don’t know how to feel about something ,how to overcome it and get back to your life like nothing happened.

[irrevocablecondition]

entitlement!!! (for your pod, bad side obviously ha) entitlement, and fandom becoming more popular therefore people tend to put these artists on a pedestal for their own Hobby,, assuming their fandom experience revolves around and/or is owed to them by someone else (especially someone they might consider a “popular” artist, author, etc, as if that person isn’t engaging in fandom just like they are)

also ! The rise of commercial/monetizing. I can’t say for sure it’s any more than the past, but as a writer I’ve seen a loooot of “I do beta reading for x amount of money) and just… 👎

apologies for the lack of coherency, but I am excited to tune in!!

(response to this post) chat i am not answering all of these publicly do not fear (thank you for your thoughts though!!!) this one just really drew me because YESSSS absolutely.

i'm thinking here about how the lack of shame regarding fanfiction (despite it being good in many ways) has almost put it on par with published literature?

and i think you'd be absolutely right to say that maybe it isn't More so than it used to be, but it's definitely more Visible now. particularly if we look at how booktok changed things and the overlapping of these two different types of consumption (which is a word that i hate to use in regards to fanfiction but when you're placing fanfiction on the same page as publit with no differentiation in the way you engage with/respond to them, then it Is consumption) there -> binded fics, more critiquing of fics, more entitlement and expectations. thinking here about fanfilms too,,,, thinking many thoughts here. consumption vs communal in the sense of massive start up funds, in the sense of being provided a Product. thinking about the glaring IP issues and the numerous cases we have seen of fanfilms doing things that can be genuinely detrimental to fandom spaces and there's no accountability because,,, well. people have got a Product, haven't they? which leads me, once again, to "is there a certain amount of shame that is necessary???"

and maybe even shame isn't the right word. we can talk about shame in the sense of embarrassment and how when someone in our real lives asks about it we kind of cringe and don't want to share that side of ourselves, or in terms of posting a fic and being worried it won't be received well etc etc etc. but in terms of these more negative examples maybe it isn't "some amount of shame/embarrassment is necessary" because that wording feels as though we Should be embarrassed for creativity, maybe it's that the idea of fanfiction as something consumable and transactional hinders that creativity??? turns creativity into something manufactored rather than natural and human? turns fandom into, rather than something to be ashamed of, something to Claim and Have and Use??? is it then that *shame* is necessary to resolve it??? i don't think so. i think it's that *education* is needed. a deeper understanding of what these spaces are and how the more commercial iterations that we're seeing aren't reflective of that. but then,,, you could also argue that this manufactored creativity (ai generated fics or "art" being a key example) could stem from Shame. definitely,,,, some weird mix of the two where you feel as though you are not good enough to do this yourself, but also if you post something inhuman then at least you can Have something. Claim something. Use something. if we understand the root cause of our own shame and embarrassment, we open up the doors to that education and really i'm rambling now because perhaps shame isn't the right word for the negative side of this discussion. (although, as you say, doesn't all of this narrow down to entitlement and what is entitlement if not a harmful lack of shame?)

The Hierarchy. oh trust that'll be covered in the tiktok bit but yes !! placing authors as some kind of figurehead or machine to produce what you want !! the way this only happens to "big" fic writers because (1) more exposure = more chance of having negativity but also (2) ,, is fandom less shameful when you're Big? do people truly view "bigger" authors as different to "smaller" ones (chat i hate all these terms but stay with me). thinking about how when people get recognised for their fics the immediate response is "you could publish this !!!" "this fic is so good it could be a published work" - as though the act of creating was not enough, you need to gain something monetary from it. as though your hobby has to be commercial to be the Best it can be. as though fanfiction writing is subpar to traditionally published writing despite the fact that it is Infinitely more accessible in so many ways. as though, maybe, are you not embarrassed that your talents are being kept here??? are you not embarrassed to call yourself a Fic writer than a Writer? so many questions when, really, the act of writing could ever be categorised into different worth values !!!!! there is no one form of writing that holds more worth than another. no one voice or genre or form that holds more weight, no one *story* even that is worth being heard more than others. there is no worth value to the act of creating, so why do we keep trying to apply it? shame and embarrassment from the creative's side perhaps, and entitlement and a lack of understanding of fanfiction as a form from the engager's side???

hm. much to ponder. much to ruminate about. much to love about these discussions !!!!

[percheduphere]

Okay. First post trying to use gifs properly. I've switched out improper gifs for these type for my last 3-4 posts. Gonna work on some more corrections tomorrow when I have time. Please let me know if I'm misstepping anywhere. Thanks for your patience! That said...

LET'S TALK ABOUT SYLVIE💕, INTERSECTIONAL FEMINISM (SYLVIE & LOKI)✊🏽, AND QUEER REPRESENTATION (LOKIUS)🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️!

SYLVIE

I'm rooting for Lokius, AND I also love how much Sylvie has forged a life for herself in S2. A lot of her development is implied, so I think it's worth looking at her growth outside the context of Loki himself: She found a job, locals know her by name, she has friends and acquaintances, she has hobbies!

People call her by name in her timeline on 4 occasions:

1. When the McDonald's shift manager (John) checks in on her after work. See the kid with the tie in the image below. I couldn't find any gifs of him visiting Sylvie at her truck. She asked him if his mom was gonna pick him up to make sure he was gonna be okay late at night. 🥹

2. When a customer picks up their McDonald's order and thanks her (cheerfully). Also note how many employee stars she had on her badge! Queen.

3. Lyle at the record store. They seem like really good friends, and I got the "beginnings of an attraction" vibe between the two of them. Unfortunately, the gifs below are the only ones I could find of him and I'm still searching for the source. His interaction with Sylvie before spaghetti-trauma was so sincere. He could tell she was down and offered her Velvet Underground. Come on, that's a solid move.

4. Eric at the bar, who comments 2 shots of bourbon is a good choice. Let me tell you, finding a gif of Eric was like finding a needle in a haystack, but here he is leaning close to Sylvie. Thank you, @zehiiro!

I tried to find more gifs of all the people Sylvie has in her life but couldn't find any, which is a darn shame because there are so many subtle cues she's built a support system on her own and she's thriving.

She's a regular at many places in her timeline, and when people greet her, they do so with a smile. She loves music, a hard drink, and punk fashion.

When she engages with Loki, she may come across as cold, but I honestly think she's being firm with her boundaries and true to her beliefs. The TVA threatened her life for centuries. I don't doubt setting foot in the building is traumatic for her, which may explain why she was more harsh than usually in S2E4. Her psychological defenses were all on overdrive. Yet when Sylvie's in her own timeline, far away from the TVA, she can be her real self. Turns out, her real self is pretty well-liked! (I'll talk about how this is mirrored in Loki soon).

INTERSECTIONAL FEMINISM

Sylvie's an unapologetically "selfish" woman who knows what she wants, wants it on her own, is doing it on her own, and isn't afraid to put her foot down when it comes to her personal boundaries. We should be applauding all of that!

This is exactly the kind of female representation we need, but the show did Sylvie a disservice in S1 by coming at her character as a love interest first (look at all the media promos classifying her as such) instead of more thoughtfully showing how badly she has been affected by the TVA and planting what her desires are throughout. If they had done this with more intention and finesse, her position in S2 wouldn't come off as completely irresponsible.

As a result of this apparent marketing and pre-production development decision, her perception as a character (by both lokius and sylki shippers) is muddled by the question of her relationship status with Loki. This truly isn't fair, most especially to Sophia Di Martino.

Of course, Sylvie isn't perfect. No well-written character should be. I just think she's cooler than she gets credit for precisely because her character arc doesn't require the fulfillment of a romance. She will be fine whether or not she ends up with Loki. It's very feminist!

Loki, in turn, found safety, belonging, and love at the TVA. All the things that are the complete opposite of Sylvie's lived experience. I often see fans complaining about how Loki is ooc in his own series.

The thing is, and Loki admits this himself: it's all part of an illusion.

This illusion started far before the first Thor movie. He comes from a hyper-masculine (dare I say toxic-masculine) warrior society. His true nature doesn't conform with this, so he has to overcompensate with some (genuinely awesome) bad assery.

BUT he doesn't like it.

As a comparison to a far lesser but more relatable degree: imagine putting on a customer service persona 24/7. UGH. It's just not sustainable without becoming increasingly angry and bitter, which is what Sacred Timeline Loki becomes. Mobius gets ahead of this.

In the series, Loki can finally TURN OFF that persona, and TURN IT ON again when it's needed (and fun!).

He also now has the freedom to be silly, expressive, and magical (unapologetically queer!) without anyone making fun of him for it.

The end result is a much calmer, happier, likable person (like Sylvie in her timeline, his defenses are no longer on overdrive!). Who shows him this is possible?

Here's the receipt:

QUEER REPRESENTATION

Sociopoliticaly, Loki and Mobius come from a different angle. A lot of men (cis, fluid, trans, or otherwise) struggle with the social expectation of burying feelings and never ever showing vulnerability, especially to another men. Now, some might argue that shipping men together perpetuates this construct. There's some truth to this, but only through the lens that it is shameful to be gay. In order to get to a point in society where there's no shame in being mistaken as gay (or queer, generally) when being affectionate with another man, there must be continuous positive representation of homosexual relationships in which the characters are not stereotypes. Loki and Mobius are exactly this, especially Mobius.

Whereas Loki, on Asgard, represents the openly queer oppressed (i.e. magic and cunning, qualities historically tied to witches or "immoral women" instead of brute strength), Mobius can represent the closeted repressed.

In S1, Mobius was much more uptight, rule-abiding, and just shy of holier-than-thou. The power structure in which he existed perpetuated this, until Loki reveals to him it was all a lie (an illusion).

In S2, he becomes more flexible, more fun-loving, and more expressive in his affection. In S1, most of his support of Loki manifested as words of affirmation. In S2, his support extended to physical touch and bonding. Mobius, if seen through the lens of a closeted man allegory, finds the courage (and partner) to slowly come out.

[arcenciel-par-une-larme]

What's so bad about Paul Washer?

OY VEY...where do I even start?

Please let me be corrected on any of the below, if needed.

To begin with, he exemplifies one of the tendencies I often observe in Calvinists, which I call "turning the Gospel into Yfelspel". In his case, this mostly takes the form of a "Total Depravity on steroids" kind of mentality, where he seeks to inspire his audience not by extolling the greatness and holiness of God but by cudgelling us over how pathetic we are and how much we suck.

In terms of how God views man, he seems to be rather of the "Sinners at the hands of an angry God" variety, which carries a host of problems with it -- especially when combined with a rigid Calvinism.

In terms of his opinions about culture, he seems to embody what I call the "Works-Righteousness Gospel according to the Boomers", which in essence means that the gauge of a "successful and productive life" is that you start working at 16, have a career by 25, and your time is spent exclusively on your career, family-leading, and church work; plus, of course, that hobbies like gaming are a waste of time -- much of the same stuff that Matt Walsh believes, only Washer is much more dangerous than Walsh because this mindset is much more prominent in his philosophy, and he dresses up his opinions with a Bible garb and uses the Gospel to shame you for not being "successful" enough by his standards.

Also, it is not encouraging at all that he is of the Joshua Harris school of romance; he believes, in his own words, that dating is unbiblical and heretical, and we should return to courtship and early marriages as a model for romantic relationships -- in fact, his view is so strict that he insists that you are obligated to ask permission from a woman's father before you court her, and even so you should still not do anything with her before marriage which you would not do with a brother or sister (Yeah, you heard him! Stop holding hands, ya sluts!) -- which is, leniently spoken, dangerously close to adding to the Gospel. What's more, much of the argumentation behind this part of his theology is completely ahistorical nonsense, and he ends up being sexist both towards women and towards men in the process.

I get the impression that he leans towards an idolisation of a very particular and stereotypical kind of "sigma" man as an epitome of manhood -- so I wouldn't be surprised if he also preaches some kind of "works-based masculinity" in addition to what I covered in #3 above. Someone in a Reddit thread gave this exquisite explanation: "I kind of wonder about this whole 'manhood' movement that seems to be so trendy lately. Esau was a manly man, but God chose Jakob, who stayed inside cooking all the time. Samuël wanted to choose a big and strong man as a king, but God chose the childlike prettyboy called David. Can't we just be men without needing to prove it so hard all the time? It makes it look like we don't even believe we are men ourselves."

This video should give you a better idea of the kind of stuff he believes, and why his worldview is completely misguided. Being dead wrong about a host of issues is one thing, but when you have the nerve to add the gravitas of the Gospel and the pulpit to your outlandish opinions it becomes much worse. I know that he correctly identifies and diagnoses many problems with postmodern culture and contemporary Christianity, but I believe that, more often than not, the remedies he proposes are almost as bad as the diseases.

[bug-the-chicken-nug]

the way it is wildly inconvenient to find a new fandom to think about getting more active in when i know full well like 80% of the people in it would probably avoid me for thinking that AI isnt inherently evil and that a lot of the rhetoric against it here literally borders on proto-fascist without even realizing it

we got:

- enemy portrayed as both strong and weak

- the "either with us or against us" no-nuance mindset

- the use of shame and fear to play upon the insecurities of the vulnerable and turn them against others who are ultimately also vulnerable and yet treated as enemies

- glorification of "good old days" in an exaggerated, rose-tinted fashion

- portraying an exaggerated sense of decline, victimhood, and humiliation when the material reality of artist earnings and feedback before/after isn't even reflecting that as a whole

- the elitism and exclusion building in the pro-artist sentiment

- the lack of unbiased research and the general anti-intellectual, overly emotion-based and reactionary approach to all this

- the fearmongering towards something different and new

- the scapegoating

- the glorification of harsh action, shame, and mockery against not *just* AI, but any user and any sympathizer

- obsession with AI being Intrinsically Evil instead of the ways its used being what's flawed + general conspiratorial Downfall Of Civilization doomerist thinking

also the way i have yet to see anyone really productively do something or have a cohesive PLAN for how anyone actually intends to meaningfully resist beyond "just dont use it" (clearly not even working + business and schools can basically just foist it on you whenever the hell they want, which is something I *do* think is an *actual* valid complaint, but people noticeably post way less about that type of issue)

at this point, for all the tears about AI, the naysayers basically seem to serve no materially useful purpose beyond forming a virtue signalling in-group for making each other feel better and rooting out any degree of AI optimism or sympathy so that anyone who *does* admit to using it has to adopt the language of being some kind of pathetic drug addict and not like. a guy with a hobby.

(I promise you, the person using it to have that RP they're too ashamed and self-conscious to have with anyone else is nowhere even remotely on the same level as the bigwigs who are making bank largely off of stocks and venture capitalists and will therefore be pretty much unharmed even if this guy and a million other guys give up the hobby forever. hence another part of why your movement is pretty much materially flaccid and toothless.)

(I will also bet you a cool 50 bucks that there are people in your midst who still use it recreationally and just parrot all the hate and reblog the jokes against it to fit in)

[cherubshert]

You don't know idols irl

But Jungwon has been nothing but a fucking sweetheart to engenes, he's constantly updating us, constantly posting content for our enjoyment, constantly doing his job as an idol

But some ungrateful 'fans' are now hating on him, for a rumor based of off there i say bullshit proof, like photos that are so blurry that it could be anyone(lemme tell you if you took those 'proof' to court, a good judge will laugh in your face and kick you out, that's how shitty they are), and proof from crazy individuals detailing how they stalked him.

Like instead of coming together worried about his privacy being so disgustingly violated, there r ppl, screaming and shouting at Jungwon??

Same on winter's side, i have seen the clips from that aespa fan meeting, where these 'fans' were screaming and cursing at her. over a rumor that if you had common sense you could see are false.

I don't think these people are really fans, these individuals are just people jumping on an opportunity to hate, and be vicious. I saw the email template they were planning to send to hybe, and it's just filled with stupid delusions.

Jungwon has admitted that he isn't in a relationship (even if he was, he is 20, who gives a shit) and these people have deluded them selves that he is, because of proof thaf can soo easily be disproven.

Kpop idol's mental health is so important, from torturous trainee life, to torturous idol life, Multiple idols have passed, because of crazy insane stupid rumors, that ruined their mental health. Yet, to this day so many people don't feel shame when they toy with an idols mental health like this.

And if something awful does happen, which i fucking pray not, these people will be the loudest about mental health. Please remember that idols are HUMANS not things or property. Jungwon has been so mentally strong, but i don't know how he's actually doing bts, as a my and engene, this situation is hurting my eyes.

If u r one of the insane individuals still angry at this, plss plss leave, i promise Jungwon and enha wouldn't care about losing 'fans' like you. Jungwon has said, on camera, by himself, that he's not dating, and you still delude yourself to thinking he is because???

It just seems like you have nothing fun or special going on in your life, please go hang out with family and friends, if you don't have friends make some, get a job, get a more productive hobby, go to the gym and do some boxing, since you are so desperate to let out rage. You say you love enhypen, yet you are so quick to treating them like this, because you lack respect not only for yourself, but for him.

we are going into 2025, a stranger, which is what jungwon is to all of us at the end of the day, dating, should not, and I repeat should not get you THIS riled up, you're mad at a human for falling in love?

And if you believe idols shouldn't date still, i better not see you dating either, cause by your logic, you also belong to said idol, and you dating is also a betrayal, you should also lose your job and everything you've worked hard for. You see how dumb you sound?? if not i really pity you, cause there is something insanely wrong with you.

Therapy is expensive, but human connection is mostly free, if you had friends, a job and a life to look forward to, you wouldn't care so much about this.

Parasocial relationships at the end of the day are not real, jungwon isn't really your friend, your boyfriend or your husband, he's a guy doing his job, being a singer, dancing and making music. your role as a fan, is to support him, so no he doesnt owe you any more than what he's given you(making good songs, dancing, concerts, albums/ the lives, photos and content r extras for your entertainment, he doesn't have to do that either if he doesn't want to, but he does(a lot),so shut up and know your place). he is a person, a human, and like yunjin said, an idol doesn't mean a dol(l) to fuck with.

[csuitebitches]

I really enjoy your blog and was wondering if you have advice on one of my biggest mental blocks. I'm 23 but struggle to feel like an adult and being independent deeply scares me even through I want to be "chasing my dreams". I've lived with my close knit family my whole life and still spend a lot of time with my parents. I'm almost going to move away(in the next year) and so I've began the process of getting a car/saving money, etc. But then I find myself subtly sabotaging these efforts because the idea of being alone/moving away also terrifies me. I really want to experience moving to a city and working and traveling and doing things I want and at this point I'm finding it draining being my parents "stay-at-home-daughter". But I also get anxiously sick when I try a push myself for more independence. I've put so much on hold going through school and then living in my home town w. parents and it's kind of scary to imagine dating (never prioritized men + parents didn't let me date in highschool= never had a bf or anything) or living alone even though I'd love to have the experience. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Basically I still feel like a 15 year old when it comes to my personal life and that feels a bit shameful.

I want to tell you that we all feel what you feel. You’ll only ever feel like an adult when you’ve exposed yourself to the outside world, regardless of whether you can handle it or not.

independence scares you because it’s unfamiliar territory. Often when we look at people who are independent and on their own two feet, they seem to have a sense of self identity, purpose and responsibilities to handle.

I’m always in favour of people moving out of their parents homes for a couple of years at least (the culture where I come from also emphasises on the whole family living together and there’s no move out at the age of 18 concept) because I see the pros and cons of both situations of living in/ out of your parents home.

No book, YouTube video, friends’ experiences will teach you about being an adult. You have to step out and experience it yourself.

Start doing exposure therapy. Basically, slowly, bit by bit, immerse yourself into the traditional adult experiences.

I’ll give you examples. Understand fully how your insurance works. Keep all your medical records in both a physical and a digital file.

Understand how your car functions as a product - which means guarantees, warranties, insurance, emergency numbers, mechanics nearby, etc.

Start tracking all your spending expenses, even if you’re using your parents money at the moment. The earlier you start this habit, the better. Create a monthly budget for yourself and stick to it.

Start doing your own laundry in the house and learn that not all clothes go in the washing machine, some go for dry cleaning etc.

Make it a goal to learn to cook at least 5 dishes properly before you leave. If your parents are good cooks, ask them to teach you or go to every introvert’s favourite site, YouTube.

Pretend that your room is a mini apartment and try to keep it clean at all times.

Start socialising more. Not just with known friends. Sign up for a random hobby class like a book club or a running club where you can meet more people. Yes it’ll be difficult, yes you’ll have moments of awkwardness but don’t give up after just one meeting - go and meet new people to get used to the idea of interacting with strangers.

You can’t rush into feeling like an adult. It takes time. Exposure therapy is the best way to get into it. The more responsibility you can healthily shoulder, even if you fail at times, you’ll still start feeling more confident.

We weren’t born with the knowledge of car tire changing mechanics, insurance, cooking or tidying up. We had to learn them as we grew up. It’s perfectly alright to not know how to do something. The beauty of living in today’s world is that the answer to nearly every question is one google search away.

[meanbossart]

Some art-advice asks I've been meaning to reply to!

I use Clip Studio Paint Pro, though I'm not sure what tips I could give just in general. Just experiment with new things often, draw as much as your lifestyle allows, watch how other people do their work but try to avoid "Dont do THIS thing ever" type lessons and tutorials. Use as much reference as you'd like and take your time! To this day a simple sketch can still take me several hours to do depending on what it is.

Thank you so much!!! I didn't do any kind of formal art schooling but I've always been inclined towards arts and crafts, and started taking drawing semi seriously when I was about 17 (I'm 27 now). I draw a lot of inspiration from western comics and my favorite artists are jason shawn alexander and sean murphy.

Oh I'm so flattered to hear my stuff's inspired you to take up drawing again, I have a bunch of little crafty hobbies but art is by far the most fulfilling one to me - largely because you're constantly learning and improving.

You're definitely onto something already, I am constantly looking at other people's art (even If it isn't a style I would want to emulate) and analyzing how the pieces come together to create the final product. In my opinion this is pretty much the best way you can go about learning besides real-life reference drawing. You can even take something into your software of choice/print it out and trace it (just to yourself, of course) to get a sense of hand-motion and line use.

As a beginner I think there's no shame at all in taking heavy inspiration from your favorite artists, as long as you aren't straight up copying things and calling them your own. Your personal style Is likely to come out naturally, with time. That's very much how I started myself!

Also, just be patient with yourself, try to have realistic goals for your skill level while simultaneously being proud of everything you do. Even if you absolutely despise a drawing, you still drew something! And even if it doesn't feel that way you most definitely learned from it. Use learning tools and tutorials to whatever point you feel comfortable with but don't get stuck on people's arbitrary rules - unless we're talking about something tangible like real-life application of traditional art tools, things like anatomy, perspective and light are to be referenced from - but It's not the goal to emulate them 100% unless you ARE going for hyperrealism. As someone who uses a ton of reference these days, I can tell you first-hand that I often find myself straying from it on purpose to make a piece look more interesting.

Lastly, draw things you enjoy! Don't let anyone else dictate what you SHOULD be doing and don't fall into the trappings of wanting to stick to one specific style, process, or subject matter.

Good luck!!!

LOL thank you so much for your very evocative compliments! I haven't ever done a timelapse, not that I remember at least. I'm not sure how they work but I do so much of "I'm gonna try this thing 5 different ways and then decide what I like" that I'm not sure how comprehensive that would be LOL

I could put together a process showcase or something though, I feel like that might be better even, since I get to explain a little of what I'm doing through text and display how I use reference. Something to consider!

[potentialprince]

Rent a Friend - Chapter 1: Imposter Syndrome

Cross posted on AO3.

Tweek was never known for his subtlety.

“So, my family is having a picnic at Stark’s Pond this—gah!—Saturday.” Tweek’s voice wavered, soft but insistent. Despite it all, he almost felt proud, even as his hands shook.

It took him twenty minutes to get the sentence out, as customers popped in and out of his parents’ coffee shop. The air felt stuffier today—from the moment Tweek clocked in he could feel it—though that could’ve just been his nerves. He tried to seem casual—cool and collected—where he was leaning on the cabinet near the register next to his coworker, Kenny. (But that was hard on a normal day. Now, with his heart going a mile a minute, it was nearly impossible.)

The coffee shop hummed with life around them. A low murmur of conversation swirled, punctuated by the occasional clatter of cups being set on tables. It wasn’t a particularly busy morning, but the shop held onto its usual charms: mismatched cups and chairs that kind of drove Tweek crazy, sunlight filtering through the wide windows to dance across the weathered wooden floors, and the quirky chalkboard menu that listed drinks with overly complex names in the swirling letters of his mom’s handwriting. Tweek wasn’t even sure how long ago she had written it—it never changed.

There was a stain on the countertop beside them. Tweek hunched over as he pretended to wipe it off with his shirt sleeve—just to look productive.

Kenny glanced at him. “That’s… nice?” His gaze shifted to the stubborn stain, then back to Tweek, who was still scraping at it like his life depended on it. The mark was old. Probably outdated both of their time here—and Tweek’s dad claimed that Tweek was born in the back room! It was basically grandfathered in at this point.

“My mom told me I should, uh, bring a friend,” Tweek continued, “th–they’re renting out a pavilion down there. It’s gonna be like a potluck-type… Thing.” Tweek paused, somehow more embarrassed. “Ngh!—I think.”

Kenny took out his phone. His signature laid-back grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, but his eyes held a flicker of curiosity. Tweek hated himself for bringing this up. He should have just bit back his shame and gone alone, avoiding the awkwardness of asking anyone. “A friend? Sounds fun. Who’re you gonna bring?”

The question hung in the air between them, weighing down the already-stuffy air. Tweek’s breath hitched, almost choking. He tried to compose himself with the reminder that this wasn’t just small talk. He needed to get a grip.

Tweek’s fingers danced over each other, his nails catching on frayed edges he didn’t remember chewing. He stuffed his hands into his apron pockets, willing them to stay still. It was always hard for him not to pick at his cuticles, even when the tiny clicking noise always set his teeth on edge—like his anxiety feeding on itself.

“That’s the—ngh—that’s the thing…” Fanning himself with his hand, he realized his face was burning. The stain still stuck to the countertop. “I was wondering if you’d want to come?”

“Oh.” Kenny looked up from his phone, setting it on the counter. He had his calendar pulled up, Tweek noticed, feeling an ounce of hope. “Are we friends?”

Then the question hit him, and any confidence he had jumped ship. “I—uh… Well—”

“I’d say we are,” Kenny corrected easily, like making Tweek’s stomach do back flips was a hobby of his. It kind of was, in a way. Tweek wasn’t sure why he even liked the guy. Kenny was known for making him anxious, which he usually hated, but there was something else there. An almost understanding. “I didn’t think you would, though. I mean, we’ve worked together for over a year, and it took you, like, five months to start talking to me.”

“I’m sorry!” Tweek squeaked.

Kenny laughed, putting a hand on Tweek’s shaking shoulder. Comforting. Solid. “Dude, I would totally go, but I’ve got Karen’s art show on Saturday.”

“Shit!” Tweek exclaimed. “I knew I was forgetting something. You were talking about that all—all week! How could I—ugh—forget?”

Kenny laughed again, putting his other hand on Tweek’s shoulder, shaking lightly before letting go. “Chill, dude. You don’t have to remember everything I tell you. I know you’ve got a lot going on up there.”

Tweek grunted, pulling at his hair to refocus.

“Why don’t you bring someone else?” Kenny offered.

“There is no one else!” Tweek pulled harder, squeezing his eyes shut. It was the best he could do to avoid looking at Kenny. He didn’t want to see his reaction. “I don’t have any—guh—friends. And—and even if I did, I wouldn’t want to–to introduce anyone to my parents!”

Kenny laughed again and Tweek’s heart sank for a second before he said, “That’s fair, man. Your parents kinda creep me out.” Tweek opened his eyes. Looking down at Kenny, Tweek saw he had a relaxed look on his face. No judgment or pity like Tweek had feared. “I get why you turned to me.”

The back door slammed shut behind them, but both parties ignored it for the most part—other than Tweek’s heart jumping out of the pit in his chest a little bit at the sound. Whistling from that direction indicated that it was just Tweek’s dad coming back from his mid-morning errands. Tweek let out a sigh of barely-there relief, loosening his grip on his hair. Since they’d hired Kenny, his parents left the shop more. It was the only thing that made working here worth it still. Other than the passive income he got as he took his online courses.

That and his innate fear of abandonment; he genuinely wasn’t sure his parents would keep him around if he didn’t help with Tweak Bros.

He twitched, checking the clock above them. It read 12:30. They didn’t usually get customers after about noon on Tuesdays—South Park was too small a town for big business between about 11 and 4 on a weekday. Tweek would wonder how his parents stayed open if he didn’t rent the apartment above the shop. Over half his paycheck went right back into their pockets. And while it was a rough system, it kept him off the streets, out of their house, and able to work essentially on command. Strangely, that—not being their son—was what discounted his rent. Not that he was going to complain, he’d take cheap rent any day over living with his parents again.

“Can you just go alone?” Kenny asked, snapping Tweek out of his spiraling thoughts.

Tweek shrugged, though the idea made his stomach twist. He could already hear his mom’s polite but pointed comments about his posture, his dad’s oversharing about the shop, and the inevitable, dreaded questions: Why aren’t you married yet?

“I don’t want to go at all,” He admitted, “My mom just asked me to help her bring things out. And it’d be dumb to—to go all the way out to Stark’s Pond to help her and—ngh—leave. I kinda thought having someone with me would make it—gah—bearable.”

“Look, man, I get it. Last Christmas, I tried to fake food poisoning to get out of my family dinner. My mom didn’t buy it, so I had to sit there for three hours listening to my dad complain about the job market.” He shook his head, smirking. “Sometimes you just gotta suffer through it. But it helps to have someone there.”

Tweek groaned.

“You’re overthinking it,” Kenny said, leaning on the register like it wasn’t a big deal at all.

Tweek turned back to his stain, armed with a cloth from nearby, scrubbing the counter harder. He did his best to focus on the familiar motion. Back and forth. Kenny made everything look so easy—like walking up to someone and starting a conversation wasn’t a Herculean task. Meanwhile, Tweek could barely think about it without his brain screaming all of the things that could go wrong. The counter squeaked under his hand, a small comfort amid the chaos.

Kenny continued, watching Tweek work with unnecessary force. “Just tell her you brought the best barista in South Park. That’ll impress her.”

“Guh!” Tweek twitched, clutching the cloth like a lifeline. “You’re insane.”

“Nope. Just confident,” Kenny shot back with a wink, leaving Tweek to wonder how the guy could say something like that with a straight face. “You give yourself too much shit, dude. You’re the only reason this place doesn’t fall apart. You’ve got more strength than you think…”

The door swung open with a theatrical flourish. “Special delivery for Kenny McCormick!” One of their regular customers, Clyde Donovan, announced as he stepped inside like he owned the place.

Tweek didn’t know many regulars’ whole names, but Kenny had gone to school with him. Most people their age had known each other since preschool. Tweek, himself, had been home-schooled—which mostly meant he worked in his parents’ shop through his childhood instead of going to classes. He was just happy not to make small talk with old acquaintances like Kenny had to every day. That was a brand of torture he had never been exposed to before Kenny started at Tweek Bros.

Clyde was a bit of an exception, though, since he worked in the strip mall a few blocks down—a manager at his dad’s shoe store, Tweek remembered Kenny saying. One of Kenny’s roommates worked a few doors down from him, at his dad’s law practice. Tweek had never met the guy, but Kenny talked pretty highly of him, so Tweek figured he was probably cool.

“What’s up, Clyde?” Kenny shooed Tweek over to the espresso machine—their current arrangement. Tweek wasn’t actually sure how Kenny got hired, the guy kinda sucked at making coffee. His dad said the McCormicks were close family friends, or something, even though Tweek hadn’t met Kenny until last year. (He wasn’t entirely sure how family friends worked since his parents never really had them, but he figured they would introduce their kids at least once before adulthood.)

Not that Tweek would complain about Kenny now.

His customer service skills far surpassed Tweek’s own (which were essentially nonexistent), so they agreed to have Kenny deal with the talking while Tweek cranked out beverages. Over the past year it had been a good system, since Kenny seemed to only ever be scheduled to work with Tweek.

Tweek was still working on teaching Kenny to make drinks, though, because they probably wouldn’t always work together (and Tweek wasn’t sure he could handle life without the other blonde again, though he refused to admit it. Kenny had a big enough ego as it was.)

“Not much,” Clyde said with a grin. “You forgot your lunch today, so Kyle sent me over with it.”

“Oh shit,” Kenny groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose dramatically. “I told him he didn’t have to.”

Clyde shrugged, holding out a familiar, orange lunchbox for Kenny. “You know how Kyle is.”

Kenny took it with an endearing eye roll. “Hey, Clyde, could you give this to him for me?” He lifted his middle finger, though there didn’t seem to be any ill-will behind it, since Clyde snorted. Another thing about public school kids, insults meant nothing to them. It was hard for Tweek to understand, really. (He wasn’t sure he wanted to.)

Kenny slid his hands into his apron pockets, grinning at his joke with crooked teeth. “Seriously, though. Can we get you anything?”

“Oh!” Clyde twisted around, searching his pockets until he pulled out a list. “I need a few things.” He held the paper out to Tweek, who fumbled for a second before he realized the guy was trying to give it to him. “Kyle said it would be easier to give you the whole order.”

“Gah!” Tweek twitched.

“Dude,” Kenny laughed, taking the list. “At least let me ring them in so Tweek doesn’t have to fuck with you.”

Tweek flushed at Kenny’s bluntness, but Clyde didn’t seem to mind, moving on easily. “Tweak, like the name of the place?”

Tweek grunted, grinding his teeth together. “That’s my last name. My first name’s the same but spelled with two E’s. Because my parents—guh!—hate me.”

Kenny snorted as he rang in drinks, but didn’t correct him. “His parents own the place. I think they were gonna use him as, like, a walking advertisement.”

“Wild,” Clyde said.

“Yeah,” Kenny agreed, “Probably would’ve worked better if they ever let him leave.”

Tweek twitched. Clyde’s eyes glanced from Kenny to Tweek, who shifted on his feet. Waiting for Kenny to finish his part was becoming torture, and Tweek was sure the other blonde knew it, taking his time punching in orders. When he finally gave Clyde the total, Tweek yanked the receipt from the till and started working.

Kenny sent him an amused smirk. “Don’t worry, though,” he said to Clyde, “The kid can make coffee like no one you’ve ever seen.”

“Well, hopefully, they’ll start sending me here for the coffee run, then,” Clyde said, putting his hands behind his head. “The Harbucks is farther away and I hate the stupid employees. They made Kevin Stoley a manager, dude. At least here I get to see you, Kenny.”

Tweek could hear Kenny roll his eyes. “I don’t get why they even send you out that way. Seems like a waste of time.”

Clyde shrugged. “I don’t know, man. It’s a good break, I guess.”

“Speaking of breaks, you got any plans this weekend?” Kenny asked casually, starting to prep cups for Tweek, writing shorthand for the orders on the side and pumping syrups like Tweek had taught him. It was a big help, especially for giant orders like this.

That used to be Tweek’s job, he remembered, before he could reach the counter. They had a stool set up for him back then, so he could stand at the till and take orders. It was nostalgic, almost, when he didn’t remember the crippling panic attacks he would have at the end of the day, after talking to so many strangers that his parents insisted were different from the stories they told him to keep him ‘safe.’

Tweek shook the memory away, nodding toward Kenny. A silent thank-you. Kenny sent him a worried look, and Tweek wondered how long he’d been lost in his thoughts for a minute before Kenny nodded back. Tweek let out a silent sigh of relief. He supposed Kenny was handy to have around, sometimes. Even if he was an asshole.

“Ugh,” Clyde groaned, “Don’t remind me. I had to cancel date night on Saturday to cover a double. And Bebe is still insisting we go out on Sunday, so I don’t even get to sleep it off.”

“Ooh,” Kenny winced, “That’s rough.”

“I love her, but she drives me crazy sometimes,” Clyde said, “Might bring her back a new pair of shoes and see if she’s cool staying in, though. What about you? Dragging Kyle out to an art show, I hear?”

“It’s not really dragging,” Kenny said, “My sister’s got a section in a showcase out in Denver, so we’re spending the weekend out there. Kyle kindly agreed to join us.”

“You sound like Bebe,” Clyde teased. Kenny threw his cleaning cloth in Clyde’s direction, snorting when Clyde gasped in offense. “I’m not talking to you anymore.”

“You’ll be back,” Kenny said, unfazed. “Stan is your weed supplier, and he barely likes you.”

Clyde rolled his eyes, his gaze falling back onto Tweek, who tried to stay focused on his drinks. “Nope. It’s too late. We’re not friends anymore. I’m replacing you with Tweek here.”

“Ngh—uh—what?”

“You can’t just replace me with any other blonde, Clyde,” Kenny said.

Clyde ignored him, staring at Tweek with wide, brown eyes. “Got any plans this weekend, Tweek?”

Tweek shifted on his feet, avoiding eye contact. “Uhhh…”

“He’s got a family thing,” Kenny said for him, not too invasive but more than Tweek would have said to a customer. Tweek sent him a look, but Kenny was back to work pumping syrups, so he didn’t notice.

“Ooh!” Clyde’s full focus was on him now, even though Kenny answered for him, and Tweek wished he could disappear. “A gathering of Tweaks!”

“Ngh—Yeah.”

“Why don’t you sound excited?” Clyde asked. “Oh, shit! You said your parents hate you, right? That sucks, dude. Do you have a buddy, at least? To make it easier?”

“I wish,” Tweek said before he could stop himself, face reddening.

Another thing Tweek had learned in his time with Kenny, was that he had absolutely no filter. Apparently, that was something they were taught in public school, too. He quickly turned back to the espresso machine, doing his best to hide behind it. It was harder than he thought, since he’d outgrown the machine years ago, but Clyde was shorter, which helped a little.

“Wait, so…” Clyde peeked as best as he could, an unsettling grin on his face. “You need a friend by this weekend?”

“Yep,” Kenny answered for him, an almost knowing look on his face.

Tweek shot him a dirty look. “It’s—ugh—not that big of a deal, I can probably just go…” The devilish look in Clyde’s eyes was starting to scare him. “Gah!—Alone.”

“Uno memento, por favor,” Clyde said, abruptly turning from the register.

Tweek shifted, keeping his eyes on the brunette as he pulled out his phone, determinedly texting while he paced in the lobby. That almost-evil smile he wore forced Tweek to look away. Oh, no. What had he gotten himself into? He shouldn’t be allowed to say anything to anyone. Now more than ever, he wished he could turn off his stupid brain and swallow his feelings, even if they burned a hole in his stomach.

Distantly, he could hear his father’s whistling fade, and the back door’s bell rang again. His departure lifted a barely-there weight on his shoulders that Tweek hadn’t noticed. He took this momentary freedom to glance at Kenny, the reason he was here in the first place. The other blonde’s eyes were locked on Clyde, thinking. There was a tilt to his brow that somehow made his whole expression ten times more serious, nothing like the casual Kenny that Tweek had gotten to know the past year. Something Tweek noticed about Kenny that always threw him off was how hyper-vigilant he was. One second, he’d be making inappropriate jokes to bother Tweek, and the next he’d be locked in, with a focus that was almost out of character.

Almost.

When he felt Tweek’s gaze, he loosened up a bit. Something deliberate. He turned to look at Tweek, a forced casualness to his whole demeanor. Tweek didn’t say anything, freezing. Kenny must’ve taken pity on him, giving him a soft smile. “Want help with some of those?”

It wasn’t the first time Kenny had surprised him like this, with his strange, effortless way of reading people. It was almost unsettling, but not unwelcome. Taking a second to think it over, Tweek eventually nodded, not sure what else to do. They made a little over half the order in silence before Clyde came back, phone in hand.

“I’ve just solved your problem, Tweekers,” He announced.

Tweek burnt his hand on the milk he was steaming, but he barely noticed over the wave of anxiety that punched him right in the gut. “W-What?”

“Clyde…” Kenny started, clearly trying not to laugh, but Clyde was still texting someone. Not even ten seconds after the message was sent, his phone started ringing.

“Craig,” Clyde answered without looking at the screen, and Kenny let out an almost strangled snort. “No, no. Hear me out.”

Whoever this Craig was, was loud enough for Tweek to hear his protests through Clyde’s speaker. Or maybe his voice was just deep, Tweek thought, because he didn’t seem to be yelling. Just adamantly against anything Clyde said, which Tweek honestly understood. He wouldn’t want to be dragged into something like this, either.

He couldn’t make out most of the words the other guy was saying, but somewhere near the end, he heard his name.

“Craig, no, listen to me,” Clyde said, starting to pace. “It’s not a big deal. He’s just a guy who needs a friend to help him out. He’s cool!” He looked up at Tweek for a moment before adding: “A little twitchy, but cool.”

There was a muffled response on the other end. Clyde’s face dropped, he switched his phone to the other side, further away from the counter. “Um…”

Tweek still caught the words “not my problem” from Craig and immediately regretted everything.

Clyde, for what it was worth, kept a positive attitude, smiling and even giving Tweek a thumbs up as he moved his phone a good inch from his face. “Give me a minute.” And with that, he speed-walked out the front door.

Tweek wondered if they should keep working on the drinks that Clyde had forgotten. With a heavy sigh, Kenny started loading what he could into drink carriers, so Tweek went back to work, too. On the sidewalk, Tweek could make out the figure of Clyde pacing back and forth. Tweek noted that he talked with his hands, even on the phone, gesturing widely as he spoke. Tweek wondered what he was saying—if there was anything he could say to get a positive reaction now.

Kenny let out another short laugh. “I don’t know why he’s doing this.”

“Huh?” Tweek looked away from Clyde, turning back to the bar. Beside him, he could hear Kenny fighting with the stack of drink carriers. Tweek knew the struggle, none of them came apart cleanly for him either.

“Clyde,” Kenny said like it clarified anything. “He keeps trying to set Craig up with more friends. He’s a cool dude and all, but he’s kind of a loner unless Clyde drags him out. They’ve known each other since they were in diapers or something. They were pretty close in school, too.”

Tweek raised an eyebrow, almost surprised at the thoughtfulness of Kenny’s words. He knew the guy was smarter than he looked, but it, again, threw Tweek off when he showed it. At first, Tweek had taken Kenny at face value: a goofy guy who helped pass the hours at work. He never came off as intuitive. Calculated. It was like he let his guard down, almost. Like this was who he really was, underneath it all. The more time they spent together, the more open he was about it. Maybe he was right to ask Kenny initially, maybe they were closer than either of them thought.

“Maybe he needs it,” Kenny said, the seriousness he held before falling. “Clyde knows him pretty well. He’ll probably just roll his eyes and go along with it. Clyde has that effect on him.”

“Oh…” Tweek mumbled.

“Craig’s kind of… Blunt,” Kenny added with a small grin. “But, hey, maybe that’ll balance out your… Uh, energy.”

“My what?”

“Nothing, dude,” Kenny said with a grin. “Craig’s chill. A little too chill, sometimes. One time, Clyde got into a screaming match at a basketball game, and Craig just sat there eating nachos. Didn’t even blink.” Kenny sounded like he was trying to reassure Tweek, though it did next to nothing for his quickly racing thoughts. “Honestly, Craig’s not a bad choice for you. He might even survive.”

“What?” Tweek squeaked.

Kenny snorted, loading up the last of the drinks into their carriers. “Look, I think Craig might be your best case scenario. Given the circumstances…”

“That’s not comforting!” Tweek hissed, taking a step back from the whole situation.

“I’m kidding,” Kenny said, more softly this time. “Don’t stress. You’ve got this, Tweek. And if it crashes and burns… Well, I’ll buy you a coffee.”

Tweek blinked at him. “You get free coffee!”

Kenny laughed. “Exactly. No pressure! Look, it could be good for you. If nothing else, you’d have someone to deflect your parents’ attention. Trust me, Craig’s a pro at keeping a straight face no matter what’s going on.”

Tweek wasn’t sure if he found that comforting or terrifying. Craig sounded unshakable—nice in theory, but what if his calmness only highlighted how much of a mess Tweek was? What if Craig bailed halfway through? What if he didn’t show up at all and Tweek wound up looking like an idiot? What if he did show up?

Tweek already regretted saying anything to Clyde.

The door swung open again, and Clyde sauntered in, phone still in hand, looking triumphant. “All right, Tweek! Craig’s in.”

Tweek froze, blinking rapidly. “Ngh—What?!” He grabbed onto the edge of the counter for support. “You didn’t—gah!—tell him everything, did you?!”

Clyde gave him a sly grin. “Relax, man. I just told him you needed a buddy for a family thing, and he was cool with it.”

“Really?” Kenny asked, sounding genuinely surprised. Tweek wondered how much of his own spiel he believed. One second, the guy was saying Clyde would be able to convince him, the next he was struggling to believe it had worked.

Clyde shrugged. “He said he’d go.”

“That’s not a good thing!” Tweek didn’t even try to compose himself. Clyde didn’t seem to mind, still proud of his own accomplishment.

“Relax, man,” Kenny tried.

Tweek groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “I don’t even know him! What if it’s—gah!—weird? What if he—ugh—hates me?”

Kenny leaned on the counter beside him. “Tweek, Craig’s probably the least judgmental guy in South Park. He’s pretty chill once you get past the deadpan thing. And if it’s weird, you’ll probably never have to see him again, so… No big deal, right?”

That didn’t feel as reassuring as Kenny probably intended. Tweek’s brain was already racing through worst-case scenarios faster than he could stop it. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. It wasn’t like he had to have Craig come. As long as he didn’t give any more information, he was solid. He would go with his mom, pretend to be normal for a few hours, and hopefully leave with his dignity.

Clyde started gathering his drinks, balancing carriers in ways Tweek didn’t think were possible. “I’ll send his info your way, and you can set things up?”

Tweek tried his best not to look worried, swallowing dryly. Kenny saw right through it, patting his back again. Clyde didn’t seem to notice, carefully starting toward the door. He laughed at himself as he struggled with it. Tweek almost offered help when he got it.

As Clyde started to leave, he turned back to the counter, almost gritting his teeth in a grin. “Don’t worry too much,” He said, staring right into Tweek’s soul. “Craig’s bark is worse than his bite—most of the time.”

[sketch-guardian]

4. Mc being bored and embroidering flowers onto any of the RAD classmates clothes

5. Mc making fake horns to match with them (I don’t remember if I asked this before already)

6. Mc putting wigs on odon to do hair style’s on him because they’re worried they might move his bangs and make him uncomfortable

I'm trying my best to reply on time and in a decent way, but I'm slow as hell and I write way too much🙈plus I need a break every now and then from writing😭anyway, since the new exchange students were not mentioned, I assumed you meant only the RAD classmates, so I hope these headcanons are okay✨:

"RAD CLASSMATES WITH A MC WHO EMBROIDERS FLOWERS ON THEIR CLOTHES WHEN BORED"

DEMYA

Demya might find MC's habit peculiar, but who is she to judge, considering that when she gets bored, she eats or munches on a few bones from her most recent meal. Furthermore, in Demya's slightly feral mind, she would see such act as a sign of the fact that she and MC are mates, therefore she would carry those decorations with pride and without shames, to make other people (the demon brothers-) jealous. Demya in turn would also "mark the territory" in her own way, so MC should prepare to be scented like never before or to let her give them hickeys and bites on body parts that can be seen.

DOMNRA/MOBIM

Flowers aren't really Domnra's style, so at first he would be quite pissed by such a habit on MC's part, after all the most he does when he's bored is listening to music, but MC shouldn't fear, because a well-aimed pout and puppy eyes would do the trick, making Domnra grumble and reluctantly go out with those modified clothes, due to being a tsundere however, he would shout at anyone who asks too many questions about the flowers. Domnra's way of returning the gesture would be to offer MC his jacket or hat that he wears every now and then when needed. Mobim, not wearing clothes and not owning any, would be happy to wear whatever MC decides to create and gift it

AZUL

Azul would immediately find MC's trait adorable and would make sure to show off their creative embroideries everywhere and to anyone in Devildom, even to those who don't care, because he's just a proud drama queen showing his genuine appreciation for MC's artwork, he might even commission some requests, such as adding butterflies on the floral designs. Azul's would return the gesture by drawing random stars with a marker on MC's clothes, so they better expect to see some of them looking starry. When Azul is bored, he isn't as productive, he merely floats and sulks around

ZURI

Although embroidering is one of her pastimes and therefore she can understand MC's little hobby first hand, Zuri would prefer to be warned in advance about which clothes MC intends to work on, because being surprised with one of her fine dresses covered in flowers without notice would irritate her quite a bit, so as long as such boundary is respected, Zuri would find the gesture amusing, almost cute. Zuri would return MC's gesture by embroidering smaller designs on their clothes, such as small hearts or messages, even their favorite flower, alternatively Zuri would spray her perfume on their clothes to avoid modifying or damaging them, consent is important after all

ODON

When Odon gets bored, they read tomes or drink a cup of green tea while watching people pass outside through a window, so seeing MC embroidering flowers on their clothes would be something new, but not unwelcome, in a certain sense it would remind Odon of Zuri. Odon would have no problem taking a stroll around Devildom with MC's embroidered flowers on them, no one would dare making fun of them either way and if anyone asked them questions about the embroidery, Odon would explain with a grin how those flowers ended up on their clothes and being very cultured, they would also explain their meaning according to flower language. In return, Odon would let MC be accompanied by their eye-like creatures, since they seem fond of them

"RAD CLASSMATES WITH A MC MAKING FAKE HORNS TO MATCH WITH THEM"

DEMYA

Considering that Demya has a set of small horns, sharp and resistant like the kind of teeth which tear through meat, it would be a bit difficult for MC to recreate them and find a way to get them to stay still on their head, so Demya would appreciate the effort of trying to match with her. That set of multiple horns is also a specific characteristic of her demonic race (faexsaeva), so considering that Demya is its last remaining living specimen, she might get slightly moved by past memories and MC could easily convince Demya to share more details of her old tribe's customs, at their own risk, considering it was made up of quite bloodthirsty demons. Sentimentality aside, Demya would really like to match with MC and would show her enthusiasm by trying to also match in other ways, such as with her tail or more simply with her clothes.

DOMNRA/MOBIM

Domnra's and Mobim's horns aren't too different except in size and consistency, for example Mobim's horns are smoother and blunter, while Domnra's ones are rougher and pointed, but essentially Domnra and Mobim are the same soul splitted in two halves, so they have more in common than it seems and they merge into one being when Domnra transforms into his demon form, which explains his Mobim-like tail. Domnra wouldn't understand the reason behind MC's gesture, but he would find MC's desire to match cool and would comment in passing that they look badass with a pair of horns, especially his own. Domnra would also find it cute, although he wouldn't admit so, to see MC with Mobim's smaller horns, the little curse would agree as well, looking at MC in awe and trying to touch the fake horns

AZUL

Azul's horns and wings are made of will-o'-the-wisp that changes color based on his mood, so MC's work would result more complicated than expected. To try creating something that resembles Azul's horns, perhaps MC could use some light bulbs or neon lights to make them shine bright, whatever the outcome is however, Azul would be impressed by MC's craft and effort in faithfully reproducing his horns. After showering MC's craft with praises and them with affection for the matching horns idea, Azul would point out the fact that with magic, he could have given them a pair of his own identical horns without problem and merely with a snap. MC also wouldn't have to worry about catching fire

ZURI

Zuri's horns are smooth, long and quite shiny, they appear elegant, so recreating them would require precise work, although not excessively elaborate. Zuri, despite being unaware of the motivation behind MC's gesture, would appreciate their craft, impressed, proud even, and would also offer to help them improve the fake horns. If MC's intent is to match, Zuri, in addition to suggesting matching clothes, would also propose wearing horn jewelry together, especially during important events, where MC could show off their abilities, if they feel like it

ODON

Odon's horns are two, joined in a point at the center, sometimes described by others as a small green sun or a ring with studs, in any case they are firm and quite heavy, so when reproducing them, MC should pay attention to the stability of the structure. Odon would find the sight of MC with their horns endearing and would curiously observe their attempt to match, assisting MC in adjusting the fake horns if necessary. Odon would also try to help MC mimic the other arms they have in demon form if they wanted to try

"ODON WITH A MC WHO PUTS WIGS ON THEM TO HAIRSTYLE THEIR HAIR IN A SAFE WAY"

Not gonna lie, Odon would be puzzled as to why MC insists on messing with their hair so much, even going so far as to use wigs to make them feel comfortable, still, as usual, Odon would remain docile and let MC play with their hair or the wigs without any complaints. With their natural hair, the only possible hairstyle for Odon would be pigtails, but MC could take advantage of the fact that Odon, as an eldritch being, is also a shape-shifter and therefore ask them to lengthen their hair to style them with more ease, something that Odon happened to do in the past, during the Middle Ages for example. In general Odon would find MC's caresses soothing, being touchstarved, and would appreciate their attempt to not make them uncomfortable, by taking into consideration their bangs. Odon could return the favor if possible and if MC taught them

[pinkypromisepascal]

get to know your moots!

thank you @almostempty for tagging me! I love this!

what's the origin of your blog title?: I suck at coming up with cool sounding usernames and mostly come up with super weird shit, but for this one I had some friends help me out! And I LOVE the vibe of it.

favorite fandoms: atm I guess the Pedro fandom, Stranger Things- now that I think about it I'm not even sure how many fandoms I'm really in?

OTP(s) + shipname: think the only real ship that isn't self insert fan fiction is Jopper lol. Omg I love them so much.

favorite color: blue, but also black when it's about clothing

favorite game: my ALL time favorite: Destiny, because it's been living in my head ever since it came in 2014 and I got to try it on a friend's ps4, this game is my Roman Empire

song stuck in your head: omg there's always a rotation of like 5 stuck in my head, but currently it's All I Need by Radiohead

weirdest habit/trait?: telling people where they might know actors from, and recognizing one specific dub actor in several productions

hobbies: drawing, writing, video games, music, going to concerts, yapping

if you work, what's your profession?: I'm a student!

if you could have any job you wish what would it be?: working in video game development! Like as a character designer

something you're good at: procrastinating, making a funny comment here and there, seeming like I have no interest in anything that is happening around me

something you're bad at: responding to people in time, time management, standing up for myself

something you love: my pookies, cats, dogs, warm sunny days

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: odd niche fan fictions that I randomly read about people I never expected there to be fan fiction off

something you hate: overly extrovert people that you can't take anywhere without them knowing every second person they see and being besties with everyone

something you collect: stickers, Pokémon cards, merchandise bought at concerts

something you forget: time, texting people back and then it turns into months of them being left on delivered

what's your love language?: touch and buying stuff that I think they will giggle about

favorite movie/show: movies I grew up with like Spirit or Blues Brothers, but newer stuff?? Don't know. Maybe the Joker movie. Friends and The Last of Us if talking about shows

favorite food: pasta and pizza, pretty basic

favorite animal: CATS. Also love dogs and horses, but omg, cats.

are you musical?: I like to imagine I could make some ambient music if I had the equipment for it. And

favorite subject at school?: English, specifically the high school years because my teacher was the weirdest and funniest dude and every book he read with us left a permanent mark on my soul (1984 is one of them!)

least favorite subject?: probably Chemistry and Physics. My teachers were good, I just didn't understand shit at some point.

what's your best character trait?: I like to think I'm easy to talk to and I'm not high maintenance. Like we don't talk in weeks because we were busy? No hard feelings.

what's your worst character trait?: ghosting people if I feel like I don't vibe with them anymore and easily forgetting about them

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?: changing the time from pm to am

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet?: my past self

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!): there's so many fics by people I love that I just haven't found the time to read yet :(( but some old classics for me are Cup of Sugar and For Science by @strang3lov3 (listen, I know these are on your shame master list, but I love them so much) and Fixed Up by @the-ginger-hedge-witch

no pressure tags: @strang3lov3 @umnitsa @bitchesuntitled @beefrobeefcal @noxturnalnymph @heartfairy

[parasocialitevn]

What was Leslie childhood like?

[TW: Emotional abuse, implied homophobia, abusive parents]

Leslie is canonically from new york, so some people might assume he grew up somewhere super progressive and welcoming to his obvious queerness. But like a lot of folks can tell you, it's usually the major cities that are more accepting and diverse, and that doesn't always carry over to other areas. He's had his fair share of slurs hurled at him and scornful glares pointed his way at the very least. Really, plenty of people picked fights with him or had him in their crosshairs because of how he looks, acts, and is. He's never let it stop him, even to the point of ending up in harm's way. Put simply, he's just not the type to sit down and take it on the cheek, even when it might be smarter in the moment to do so. Probably because he was already used to it from home.

Leslie's dad was a hardass, "man's man" type. And Leslie, having inherited his father's temper but not his dependence on traditional ideas of masculinity, was butting heads with him for as long as he can remember. His father seemed to hold on to the idea that he could teach his son to "man up", and his stubbornness in these efforts was matched only by Leslie's stubbornness to defy them. He honestly took pride in it, even if out of pure spite. He's been kicked out after a screaming match as many times as he's stormed out of his own accord. Really, how headstrong Leslie is may be just about the only thing that kept him from a spiraling sense of self-loathing. While Leslie's mom didn't directly participate in trying to teach him to "be a man", she also didn't say or do anything to stop his dad, either. He'd tell you what she told him: that she preferred to "keep the peace." Funny how "the peace" seemed to exclusively refer to her own, and that her peace was apparently worth more than his. Despite her passivity coming at his expense, his grudge towards her is minimal, to be honest. Then again, it can be hard for children to bring themselves to hate their parents, even if they earn it.

The Leslie you see today is a product of that environment, really. Feisty, self-assured, protective, anti-authority, and perhaps overindulging in his interests now that he's not being shamed or belittled for them in his own home. He is nothing if not an avid believer of "treat yourself" culture. While someone like Eden sort of perpetuates the expectations of perfection put on her by others and suffers for it, Leslie suffers due to a sort of overcorrecting once he was on his own. He's lazy and a bit of a slob because he's used to being barked at like a drill sergeant, and he overindulges in hobbies and the like because he feels like he owes it to his younger self to enjoy these things now that he can.